2013 is coming to an end soon. 22 more days. But why wait till then to start afresh? This is the last time I'm going to let out all my emotions.

I was a liar when I said I moved on previously. I was a liar when I said I want to take things slowly. It's hard to forget because my entire 2013 consisted of you, you were the biggest thing that happened to me this 18 years.

I never knew how important you would become to me when I first met you outside LTD 3. The silent boy who kept playing with his IPod. This guy later became my bestfriend, my boyfriend and the person I love the most.

He meant the world to me.

He introduced me to his friends who are now my dearest family. Yeap, NYPWuShu. I still remember how at first I was scared to talk to them but look at them now, they are the reasons I'm not in bits and pieces. I really treasure them with all my heart. I have never been more involved in a club my entire life.

I never gave so much in a relationship before, gave too much for him to handle maybe. My time, my effort, my heart. But I don't regret giving so much, because his love made up for it all. He was there for me all the time, when I was sad, happy, troubled, he was always there.

However, I became too dependent on him. I guess I never really realized how dependent I was on him till we broke up.

You left me with so many beautiful memories that no amount of money could ever buy. You taught me things about a relationship I never knew. You made me realize how much of a kid I was. You made me want to change.

I have never wanted to change before.

But now all that is gone, no matter what I do, it will never come back. I still love you, a lot. But for now, it's impossible, no matter how much I try.

But who knows what fate has installed for the both of us? Maybe we will find something new again. Maybe not.

Crystal Lai, stop being a weakling and move on. It's time to grow up and stop crying. Time to stop being dependent on him. Time to stop taking matters into your own hands and let things flow on their own.

And Martin Tay, if you read this, thank you for the most beautiful memories ever. You were my first true love. The first guy I really wanted to marry. I hope we can bullshit again with each other someday, endlessly.

I won't wait for 2014 for a new chapter, it starts now.