And I thought 2013 would be the most happening year of my life, 2014 proved me wrong. So many thoughts running through my mind now on this rainy Sunday afternoon.

Man, this days I get exhausted so easily.

Maybe it's cause too many things are happening and I can barely keep up. Other then that, I don't want to stay home either. A home is supposed to be somewhere where I will feel safe but that's not the case now. I fear my own home the most, and with valid reasoning. How badly I just want to break out of this place and live on my own but, I can't...

While a lot of shit has been happening, 2014 is really starting to look like the happiest year ever for me in many aspects.

24/02/2014, that's the day I "reunited" with my beloved Ah Ma Wei Song! ^w^ ♥

Prior to that date, I think we didn't talk for about 1 year 2 months already. Honestly, it's hell not talking to him. Many times I see him in school and it's just... weird and upsetting walking past each other as strangers. He has always been there for me, especially when I was with that jerk boyfriend from 2012. I'm so glad that I managed to gather the courage to talk to him again. Let's promise that nothing will break this SN|AM relationship, alright? You are the one person I can't bear to lose, the one whose always there for me and there's just no end to the amount of thank you(s) I owe you. I sincerely pray with all my heart you will find the happiness that belongs to you soon. I will always be there for you, like how you are for me! My dearest Ah Ma in this entire world! ♥

It doesn't take a fool to see how obsessed I was with my ex, how desperate I was to get him back. No matter how hard they tried, no one could convince me to move on, not even myself.

But the appearance of a certain someone helped.

Hi, LJK. If you read this. HAHA. Honestly thought I would NEVER fall for you, given how like, desperate I was to get back with that other guy. I still can't figure out why you are the one person who can bring peace to my heart, even if I didn't liked you at that time. Maybe it's cause someone who is in the same position as you is able to relate better? Man, I don't know.

To be honest, sometimes I feel really insecure, because of the things I know about you but whenever I'm with you, I tend to forget.

However, the fear is still there. After 2 heartbreaks, I don't know if my heart can take another. The last one nearly killed me. It's not that I don't want to trust you but I really can't afford to get hurt again. But slowly, I feel the walls I have built up being destroyed because I just can't keep away from you. So, please don't disappoint me... because I keep falling for you and at this rate if you will leave it will be worse then the last.

Aside from this 2 events, there's also the new team I'm in, iSg.Flair. Honestly speaking, the direction we are heading in seems very blurry now. But, I love my team, everyone in it is awesome in their own unique way. I've been making a lot of new friends in League as well.

Right now, the future seems bright. Let's hope it remains that way. Finally, an end to my dark days.